The Hidden Beauty of Black Friday

I’m writing this on Sunday morning, a couple of days after a few tragic incidents on “Black Friday.”  For those of you not in the United States, this is the day after the American Thanksgiving holiday when many stores offer sales with deeply discounted items.  These sales have become a phenomenon over the past few years, with stores opening at 5:00 am and people lining up the night before to buy a very limited quantity of deeply discounted items.

In New York a Walmart employee was trampled to death by the oncoming crowd as the doors opened.  And in California a customer shot and killed two people in an apparent rage about some item that was in high demand.

Many people are prepared to take these two incidents and use them as a symbol of everything that is going wrong in the world.  I’d like to offer a completely different perspective: I think this is a time to recognize just how essentially right things really are.

***   ***

These are sad events, but not unprecedented.  As I was telling a friend of mine, I can imagine an out of control crowd rushing to get scarce loaves of bread, or medicine, or any number of things that were once considered necessities for survival.

So the fact that the rush was on for electronics or toys, things that are nice but not necessary is a sign of increased prosperity.

Indeed, this was a case of “manufactured scarcity.”  Collectively, we decide to assign importance to certain items that really has nothing to do with our actual survival.  We will continue to breathe in and out whether we have that new computer or not.  Our children will love us whether they get the hot new toy or not.

A deliberate condition of scarcity was engineered and created by the stores themselves, to entice people to come in and act out of fear.  The media bought into it, with stories about the Black Friday sales and people lining up days before.

I remember attending one of these a couple of years ago.  We were at a Best Buy store in Connecticut at 5:00 am, thinking we’d be among the first to be there.  We were greeted by multiple police cars, dogs, television news trucks, and thousands of customers who arrived before we did.

That was the end of our Black Friday shopping excursions.  Never again.

As I said, the reatilers and media co-created the conditions that contributed to these deaths - along with us.  Those who lined up outside the doors participated in the frenzy.  We have choices in how we think, how we act and what we allow into our consciousness.

So with that, let me leave you with a few pieces of good news….

1. I predict a change in the way these sales are administered, and they may even disappear altogether.  The retailers and the media don’t just create public opinion.  They respond to it as well.  Walmart is no doubt reeling from bad publicity surrounding this event.  Black Friday sales are now associated with corporate and consumer greed.  No business wants that connection.

2. For every act of chaos, greed and desperation that occurred on Black Friday, there were hundreds, even thousands of acts of civility, kindness and generosity.  These weren’t reported in the media.

Doors were held open for senior citizens and children.

Children’s eyes lit up when parents bought special presents for them, and parents hearts melted with the reactions of their kids.

Strangers bonded in a shared sense of humor of the absurdity of the circumstances they were in.

Spouses had hot breakfasts waiting for their partners when they returned home.

Some minimum wage retail workers found a sense of dignity and personal empowerment in being assertive towards large groups of people.  Some of these same workers received more money than usual based on the volume of sales they processed.

And some of these workers experienced something unpleasant enough, it inspired them to ask for more out of their lives.  Somewhere on Friday a decision was made by a Walmart or Radio Shack worker to go back to college.

It really is a matter of where you choose to put your focus.  Three lives taken and an attitude of greed.  Or a self-correcting marketplace and many acts of compassion and grace.

I know where I’m choosing to focus!

Your Friend,
Larry

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The Black Teletubby of DEATH!!!

The Most Important Thing You’ll Read This Year If You’re A Biz Builder

If you know me, you know I’m not prone to exaggeration or over the top language. I like my credibility, and won’t ask you to do something unless it’s REALLY important.

Well if you’re in any kind of home business, please read this. It may be the most important thing you read this year….

I have a friend - a close friend - who I absolutely believe in. He’s got wisdom, intuition and a way of bringing out the best in those with whom he works. The world is crying out for his skills, though the world doesn’t know it yet.

(Stick with me on this story. I’m going to tell you about “Anthony” but ultimately this is about YOU.)

Anthony is a novice in marketing, and just a little shy about introducing himself in the kind of way that will get people’s attention. Typical stuff for someone who is new to this kind of industry or has tried and failed in home business in the past.

I engineered a set of circumstances so that Anthony had a good strong designer and copywriter working with him free of charge. I also found a hosting deal through a friend of mine so that his hosting fees were literally six dollars a month, with outstanding customer service built in.

So far so good, right?

Anthony was thrilled with the deal, and told me he’d have to wait until payday to make the transaction, since things were REALLY tight this week. No problem. Been there, done that, happy to be out.

A few days later I got an email that went out to Anthony’s mailing list on one of the social networking sites. One of the “gurus” he knows instructed him to sign up for a monthly affiliate program - at $79.95 bucks a pop - and blast his lists, telling them to do the same.

He jumped in. I got an email inviting me to be part of this deal, and register under his affiliate link.

What he’s marketing is good stuff. It’s a product that has value (though I’m not sure it’s eighty dollars worth). It’s not something I’m interested in at the moment, but in another time it might have been. And if I do decide it’s worth, I’ll surely grab it through his affiliate link.

But there’s the thing. This good, strong effective person is doing what most people in home business do…look for “The Magic System”, as if plugging into it will catapult them into riches and recognition.

I asked Anthony the hard questions. How will he sustain the $79.95 per month expense? Does he think this one letter, which looks very similar to the other marketing letters we’re all bombarded with will really influence anyone?

Is his upline guru supporting him in his marketing efforts, or just pointing him in a direction and giving him a push?

And the important question: is he putting blind faith in a guru who may or may not know what he’s doing, or in himself…his ability to learn, grow, attract and stand on his own two feet?

*** ***

Of course I’m talking from experience here. Full disclosure: I’m not in the MLM business at the moment. Could happen again someday, and I am an affiliate for several different entities and programs I feel good about. I’m all for a loving exchange of value for value: cash for great products or service. And I’m on both ends of that equation.

What I’m NOT for is pouring my money into a program that disempowers someone from experiencing their own greatness.

I love network marketing. I entered it in 1999, lost money for a while, learned a lot, broke through, made money, still get my royalty checks years after I stopped building my organization, and moved with something that is more in alignment with who I am. When I find the right product or service with the right people and right energy, AND it’s the right time I’ll probably jump back in.

(Note to prospectors…this is NOT the right time. Do not pitch me.)

I eventually did start making money because I built the most important business asset I have: myself. It’s really the only important asset. I became attractive…to myself and to the outside world. And along the way I brought people into my life with complimentary energy and skills. Didn’t really have to do anything other than let my energy out. People who were ready responded.

*** ***

It’s the message I gave to Anthony. You are more than good enough. This is someone who already has a high level of personal development. He just forgot…the fear of stepping into unfamiliar territory caused him to run to the herd.

I’m in the marketplace. I believe 100% in what I sell, which are my own products, training classes and personal coaching. They’ve worked for many others. I’ve got documentation of people who have made money, found the love of their lives, got healthier and found peace, with my presence as the spark that lit the flame.

And I market the products and services of people who have done the same…stuff that has moved me, not any old thing that comes down the highway.

I want you to buy from me and enroll in my coaching classes - if you’re ready - because they will give you the only thing you really need: access to your own genius and power.

I want Anthony to let out the magic inside himself. I want YOU to do the same.

I don’t want you to think that running with the herd will take you to the next stage of your business development. The “duplicatable system” shows up in everyone’s inbox, and usually in their spam folder.

Too much noise, too much traffic. The herd is being screened out.

What will never be screened out - what the world will always want - is someone who is authentically, loving, confidently themselves. They’ll pay to be around us…absorb our energy, love us, let us love them, grow with us and move into a state of grace and appreciation with us.

Us. Like Anthony. Like Me. Like You.

Yes, like YOU…if you dare to step into that role.

However you do it, find someone who will guide you towards the REAL you…the beautiful, magnetic soul waiting to come out and play.

Have An Amazing Week,
Larry

P.S. The NMHB community are the first to see this, because you have a head start in the co-creative process with me. This will be going out to the world in 24 hours.

The Passageway To Your Music

So I’m rushing around the kitchen, doing this and that and a little bit of the other.  Sarah, my 12 year old is with me.  She’s chatting about music, her favorite topic and I’m half-listening (yes, it’s true).

A little background, for those of you who don’t know my family: Sarah is an exceptional singer.  She sings with the Connecticut Children’s Chorus and has sung with the Connecticut Opera Company.  It’s her passion, and she’s willing to put the joy and the time in.  Most of the videos I’ve produced over the past couple of months have been recorded during the two and half hours I’m waiting for her during her Tuesday rehearsals.

She’s learning her art, which makes me very happy - even when she’s giving me details I’m not particularly interested in, at time when my brain is on other things.

But one thing she said to me stood out tonight.  Sarah was practicing her vocal exercises, something that was making me crazy at the moment she was doing it.  Seemed to be a whole bunch of random noises specifically designed to antagonized her father.  Then I was about to ask (demand) she stop she told me how she hadn’t completely warmed up, and she had to open her whole body to let the sound out.

“Run that by me again, Sarah.”

“You have to make a passageway through your body to let the air come out and go…”

The she stood erect, breathed in deeply and produced this note.  It was absolute clarity.  It seemed like it came from her toes.  This little girl, in a random moment on a Thursday evening generated a sound I’ve never created in my life.

Holy Moley!!!!

Out of the mouths of babes.  Sarah nailed what we’re all trying to do.  When you’re trying to make something beautiful, profound, sublime, choose your adjective…you have to open up your being - your whole being.

You have to set aside the the things that block your music from coming out.  They may not seem related, but when you intend to give it all you’ve got in one area of your life, it helps if all your channels are open.  It may even be necessary.

Yeah, Sarah can produce some neat sounding stuff in any given moment.  But if she’s going to give it her best..the kind of thing that gets her on stage with world class musicians, the channels have to be open.

How about you?  What are you working on?  What passages need to be cleared?

What are you holding onto that it’s time to let go of?

NO MORE HOLDING BACK!  Your music - your full throated, soul driven beautiful music is waiting to come out…in whatever medium that works for you.

And greatness is on the other side of those closed passageways…guranteed!

Let it go!  Let ALL of it go!

Love,
Larry

2009: The Year YOU Broke Through!
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Cash Flow and Recognition: Two Years Later

The Little Click of an Unlocking Door

Yesterday I walked up to a school, one where you have to “buzz in.” When you press the security button to get let in, you have to listen very closely for the little click that tells you the security guard unlocked the door.

I always liked this type of security system, because it’s a great reminder of how to get the stuff you want out of life. :o)

I pressed the button, stood in front of the little camera and waited…quietly. A few seconds later, that little noise registered in my ear. I pulled the handle and made my way in.

If you’re preoccupied or waiting for a loud buzzer, you’ll never hear it. It’s a perfect metaphor for change in our own lives. Opportunity doesn’t usually bop you over the head. You do whatever it is that lets the Universe know you’d like a change in something.

Then you change the rhythm of what you expect to hear. Get quiet and focused and listen for the subtle change.

Then the door opens.

In the language of the Law of Attraction, line up with what you want. It doesn’t matter how many times you press the button, or how many times you ask for something new. If you’re not in alignment with what you want, you won’t know when it’s there.

Your door is opening…you’ve already asked.

Now adjust what you see, hear and feel so that you’ll know when it’s time to walk through.

Your Pal,
Larry

NO MORE HOLDING BACK

P.S. FREE NMHB Coaching Call is coming soon, along with the schedule for 2009 Training and Mastermind Groups. Stay tuned for more info.!

Larry Hochman: Naked In The Woods

Shooting a bunch of videos today with my buddy/videographer Ben. We put together a juggling montage with several different props and several different wardrobes. Great fun, especially when one of the softballs plopped into the stream behind his house. The camera caught the fun of going after it.

Later in the day we went to a local park to shoot in a different location. Between takes I wanted to change into my loud Hawaiian shirt and tan shorts.

There were no open rest rooms. And there weren’t many people in that part of the park.

But…being a gorgeous autumn day there was a whole bunch of people in a different part of the park.

“So what’s the score, Larry? Did you do what you’re leading up to?”

Sure did! I ducked behind a locked building, waited for the dog walking guy to pass by, and effected the quickest costume change I could.

Yes folks…public undressing in the town in which I’m a well known individual. The risks I’m willing to take for my art!

OK, OK…it wasn’t that great a risk. Worst that could have happened? Someone sees my “tightie whities” for a moment. Word gets around that Larry. is a public undresser. Police are called, newspapers show up, Larry gets to explain a lot of stuff to people who really don’t care that much.

Of course the chances of that are pretty remote. And that kind of thing happens when you meet an awkward situation with embarrassment and defensiveness.

If someone HAD come upon me, they would have gotten a big smile and wave. Then I would have invited them to stay and watch the video shoot so they knew I wasn’t up to no good.

Be yourself. Always. Have fun with whatever you’re doing.

At the same time, manage your risk. Try to avoid public semi-nudity if the consequences could be bad.

But don’t stress out too much. The joy of whatever you’re doing usually creates a ripple effect of more joy. It sure did today!

Your Fully Clothed Juggling Buddy,
Larry

The Courage Of Our Convictions

I remember sitting in a counseling techniques class while getting my masters degree in 1988 at Central Connecticut State University. The professor was Alan Fossbender, a guy who was known for going off on tangents.  The lesson would be a history of Developmental Guidance and Counseling in the State of Connecticut and before you know it, the topic turned into “The Courage of Our Convictions.”

Your Appetite Is Bigger Than Your Eyes

This is something I wrote about 2002, in a different stage of personal development than I’m in now. As our eyes grow we ask for more…my current life is proof. It’s also part of my book: NO MORE HOLDING BACK - which makes a great holiday gift (hint, hint).

*** ***

One morning I was making Sunday breakfast for my two daughters. Eggs, toast, juice and children’s nutritional shakes were the order of the day. They saw the bounty in front of them and started chowing down.

About halfway into their plates they each asked for more, even though their pace had slowed down considerably.

Of course Dad came up with the usual lines. “I’ll make you more when you’re finished with what you have. Your eyes are bigger than your appetite.” And of course, they barely finished what they had and weren’t interested in more, but I had to admire their ambition.

The more I thought about that old expression, it occurred to me that many people have that problem in reverse: their appetites are bigger than their eyes.

My kids saw the bounty in front of them and decided they wanted to partake in everything Dad, the refrigerator, the stove and the blender could put forth. A rather ambitious pair, these two. But they were not self-limiting. Of course they would need discipline and someone to pull in the reins. But I was happy to see my kids approach breakfast (and by extension, life) with such gusto!

Look at the old expression in reverse. If your appetite is bigger than your eyes, you need more than you can see yourself getting. The vision you have for yourself is not sufficient t sustain you.

Imagine people who are chronically hungry. (Of course this is a real life situation for millions around the world). If a typical diet for a healthy person is 2000 calories, and only 1000 or fewer are available (and let’s imagine for the sake of comparison that it’s a nutrient poor diet), this person will probably adjust his or her body’s metabolism and functioning to exist on this number of calories. And as a result, they will have fewer capabilities than someone who is well-nourished and fed.

Now take this metaphor to other resources: money, education, love, spirituality, a sense of achievement and purpose. Of course, you learn to make due with less when you must. But in the process, your expectations of life get narrower. You seek out a smaller piece of the pie, or even settle for the crumbs that fall on the floor after the important people have finished eating.

After a long enough period of being deprived, your eyes become small. You can’t see anything better for yourself.

Who do you know whose appetite has become bigger than their eyes? How can we help these people regain their vision and feed their need?

I suppose the answer is different for each situation, but I believe it starts with helping someone to meet the needs they currently see for themselves and letting them raise their own level of expectations…their own vision at the pace they choose for themselves.

And if YOU are the person whose eyes need to grow, you must find someone who has what you need and let them teach you how to get to that same place.

Have a great weekend, and come join us at the NO MORE HOLDING BACK Community

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